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How To Lose a Friend (On Purpose, the Right Way) December 10, 2009

Posted by raynatamarin in Relationships.
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I was asked a very interesting question recently. The woman said…

“How do I cut ties with a friend who has been a best friend of mine for about 5 years, but annoys me like crazy, and is simply bad for my health, but is a core member of my favorite group of friends and is a loyal customer of my business?”

My response:

Because you met people through that person doesn’t mean you need to remain knowing that person. You don’t “owe” them and they do not “own” you because of this. If you had to choose between him buying from you or putting up with all of this, which would you choose?

She replied:

I want him out. But he’s a great person, a great artist, but I just can’t be around him anymore.

My response:

If you are aware of the way we attract like vibrations, then you know Law of Attraction so this should come as no surprise. Everyone is a mirror. The things we most like and most dislike about others are usually qualities we share. If you can locate the part of you that is most like his good side and most like his not so good side, then you can begin to strengthen the good matching parts of yourself and let go of the parts that match the things you don’t like to see in him. Because of Law of Attraction and the Laws of Manifestation and the nature of reality, this will cause you to draw to you more of the qualities you like, and become free of those qualities you don’t want to encounter from anyone.

You may have outgrown him. Which means he seems more distant in now many ways–the ways in which you clash and are vibrating in different places. But he doesn’t seem distant enough for your taste in the physical sense yet because he yet lingers in your life experience. You see, he is going to fizzle away if you stick to growing your best qualities and letting the rest go. If he isn’t choosing to grow at the rate you are, and in the direction you are choosing to go, then that’s life and you’ll have to be at peace with him not being around. Would it be relatively easier to not call or text him anymore, or the like? If so, then you can just not take those actions. Following your bliss means doing what feels good and right for you. No one requires you to put bliss on the back burner at anytime, and if they do, then they were present in your life to teach you this lesson. So be grateful to them and you can let them go in peace.

She said:

In the past I have accidentally not called or communicated with him for a period of time and he would say “Why are you ignoring me?”and then at parties he starts being weird around me acting like we have to make up or something and says things like “You’re the best” and I just want to get away.

My response:

The best thing you can do is not be anything like him. Opposites do not attract, they only seek for and draw to them what they desire to become. You want to be something more and so leave out the rest and you’ll find only those like you, around you. The rest will be drawn away from you naturally. You never have to have “that talk” or “break up”. It will work out by design. Your design.

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The “Grateful Dead” November 9, 2009

Posted by raynatamarin in Spirits and Afterlife.
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With Halloween past and Thanksgiving approaching this topic seems most appropriate. Halloween is the festival of the deal, a time for remembering with love, those who came before us. Thanksgiving is a time of appreciation and gratitude.

During a festival the purpose is celebration. This is the time of appreciation and gratitude. As your loved-ones who have passed looks on from non-physical, which do you think they would rather see: Your family happy to be remembering them so wonderfully and having a good time holding them in your thoughts and honoring them? Or looking sad and forgetting how to be happy. Which do you think? Which do you think those who have passed could come closer to and connect to? You must stay true to your happy nature.

A celebration, a festival, is an opportunity. It is an opportunity to remember and appreciate the cause for the celebration. If we are to feel bad about the cause of the celebration, we are only doing ourselves a strong disservice and we are not honoring our memories. There is no room for sadness. It has a place only to show you that you must get back to happy and that you have strayed from your path. But once you realize that it is very selfish to miss someone, then you will see how you are disconnecting yourself from where that spirit is. When you disconnect, you become very sad. That is your emotional guidance system telling you that you are going far in the wrong direction, away from your passed loved-one’s spirit. You can think about them, but thinking about how sad you are is not the same as thinking about them, and it is certainly not honoring them. Missing, or to miss, is feeling lack, missing something like a piece is gone and separate… as though something could ever possibly be separate and not whole. There is no reality of separateness. Your loved-one is there even after they have passed on, and the more sadness you feel, the further from them you feel you are. It is an illusion that you are not One. A delusion that you are missing a piece of you.

You say that you “can not believe he/she is gone” because he/she is not gone. In your heart you now this to be true. No one is gone because we in reality are all One. We can not separate.

To stop the celebrating will make it harder, don’t you think? How can you be in alignment with the spirit of celebration when you refuse to participate in the glory of it? Why not celebrate in happiness with your deceased loved-ones there, in spirit. Just because someone is not physical does not mean they do not exist. They do exist! God exists and expresses as all of us and through all of us. Our bodies are mere vessels. Beautiful they may be, but illusory vessels they are, meant to express Truth through it. The True Beauty. God IS. God is the Source and we are always with the source and we can not separate from our Source. When we live here physically we are more like asleep. God did not put us to sleep. God wants to wake us up! To wake us all up to remember we are One in God. We can live physically and know what we really are. How can this be sad? It is beautiful and exemplifies the beauty of how close your loved-one is to you.

Don’t push your loved-ones away with sadness. And yes you can push them, or anyone away with sadness. Look inside yourself for comfort and show the others how you’re deeply calm and happy. You will find others to be most comforting, then. When you are sad you attract sadness and sadness in others, likewise those who are happier will fall away from you. So bring them back with your design of happiness. Create it. Express God through you and celebrate. Be comforted and you’ll find others to become very comforting to you.